The Little Boxes
The titles I have created for myself and hats I wear have been a comfortable place to hide. Behind the mom, the wife, the wellness coach, the friend and the volunteer, there is me. Good old Amélie.
Over the life transitions that I have experienced over the last 13 years or so, it has been somewhat convenient to place myself in the little boxes.
Getting married and starting a family certainly changed so much. I remember stepping into these big roles feeling scared and alone. I really had no idea what I was getting into - but really did any of us?? Being a wife and mom gave me a sense of purpose. A sense that I was moving on with my life, doing what I was supposed to do, that I was stepping into full adulthood. Those were expected and comfortable little boxes.
At the start of my career, I placed myself into another little box. I loved being seen as a professional who got to travel, make great money and got all dressed up to go to work in the office. After fifteen years in a career that looked great on the outside but did not feel great on the inside, I was ready to let go of that title and leave that box behind.
Fast forward to 2015, I was eager to create a new identity and create a new box. I was running on autopilot and needed the almost daily glass of wine to cope with going through the routine, through the life I had created for myself based on my then idea of success and the boxes I needed to be in.
With a lot of soul searching, the help of a coach, some training and lots of sweat and tears, I was ready to re-emerge as a wellness coach. Yes, a new little box.
It was scary but it felt amazing to step into something I truly loved. I created a business based on my passions. For 5 years, I helped people with their fitness and nutrition needs and with their emotional health. I met amazing people, I learned so much about myself, about how to help others, about the tools to live my best life. This new box was quite shiny and fulfilling until….2020 decided to show up in its full glory.
2020 - A year of challenges, growth, changes, alignment, friendship, love, gratitude and revelations.
A year when I am finding ME.
Me - Amélie - no boxes required.
Stepping out of all of the boxes I thought I had fit into, I allowed myself to dive into my truth.
By slowing down, I created space for deep inner work, conversations with people I deeply care about and, in the process, I found myself again.
I found an authentic nature girl who loves adventures.
I found an energetic motivator who loves to ask tough questions.
I found a loving human being who is attuned to her own needs.
I found a thirst for community and belonging.
I found joy in the simplest things and a craving to share that with others.
I realized that my practices have the power to save me from the stories I tell myself.
I realized that my non-judgemental approach is an amazing gift.
I realized that what I love to help others with is the inner transformation that comes from self-discovery.
I realized that I don’t want to do things alone anymore. That being around people who inspire me allows me to be more creative and simply find joy in the daily tasks.
I found that I am not meant to fit in a box.
This is just the beginning. Truly.
It’s not like this authentic ME was M.I.A prior to 2020.
She just wasn’t allowing her authentic self to be enough.
She was listening to too many outside voices instead of her own beautiful voice.
She was so focused on being successful that she lost track of what she actually wanted.
What am I learning from 2020…
It’s ok to slow down and even stop.
Time in nature really helps me to connect with myself and to be present in my life.
Meditation is necessary for my well-being.
I don’t have to do it alone.
I can just be me, no boxes required.
I love my life.
I love simple things, they bring me so much joy.
I don’t have to have it all figured out.
I am more than enough.
The journey we call life keeps getting more interesting.
My life partner and kids truly are what is most important to me.
I can do hard things.
Success doesn’t mean what I thought it did (still haven’t fully figured this out).
I can manage with less.
Getting real with my personal finances is key to feeling free.
I could go on and on with what I’ve learned and am still learning…. so much truth, so many takeaways, so much growth.
Right now, I feel happy.
Happier than I have felt for a very long time - if ever?
I feel like myself. Like the root of who I truly am.
I actually love what I found. This imperfect, messy human is quite ok.
She loves deeply, she needs only the basics, she is honest, she is enough.
No boxes required.
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